Grudge me Not

It’s not that I hold a grudge, it’s more like I strangle the life out of it. Then I relish vengeance and vindication due me. Here are some that are still come readily and joyfully to mind:

1. 1978, First Grade: Mrs. Hedgepeth would not let me go to the bathroom until I had finished my cotton-ball caterpillar. So, I did what any normal 6 year old would do, I created a masterpiece. I also created a mess. As the class filed out for recess, I called Mrs. H back to come admire my magnum opus and my puddle of the floor. That bitch was mine for all of second semester.

2. 1991, Heated Scrabble Game. It might not surprise you that I hate to lose. I played the word “zeitgeist,” hitting the triple letter on Z, a double word score and using all of my letters. It was worth points that can only be expressed with an exponent. Eric challenged. I was affronted. “Zeitgeist” in his woefully provincial 1980 Webster’s dictionary (that was before the inter web) was capitalized. Everyone knows all German nouns are capitalized, and zeitgeist had long been accepted in English usage for some time. I point it out every time I see it in print, uncapitalized, thank you very much.

Incidentally, I’m starting a petition to Words with Friends to add the following as acceptable:

TRIMGUT, LIMPVEG, and FROGROT

3. 1995ish, A spirited debate (and by spirited, I do mean induced by spirits of the alcoholic sort) about whether or not there was a cupcake called Hoot n’ Toot, similar to Suzy Qs and Ding Dongs. I was the source of much ridicule for the next 15 years. Hoot n’ Toot was the Bigfoot of my social circle, the giant squid. Until, Google proved otherwise–incontrovertible evidence of the Hoot n’ Toot. Note: I have been accused of planting this post and laying in wait for 7 years to unveil it. It actually does sound like something I might do.

Point is, if you don’t want to end up the subject of my blog–just assume I’m right, and no one gets hurt.


5 thoughts on “Grudge me Not

  1. Two things- first I fully expected to see your grudge against your dance teacher for making you play a skunk in the recital. Second, and far more important, you’ve totally warped the hoot n toots story! You claimed that the hostess cupcake was also known as a hoot n toot. that they were, in fact, one in the same and that we were crazy for not remembering this. I might, based on the shady evidence of some possibly planted blog, agree that perhaps there was some regional baked good called a hoot n toot (like the tasty cakes of the North East), however I contend that what you claimed was that hoot n toot was the official name of the hostess cupcake. It was not… I stand by my version of the story.

    • Ballet wounds cut deep. When you get your own blog you can protest. But it still seems odd to me that every other snack cake had a cutesy name, and the best they could do was “cupcake”? I think not.

  2. Oh my – we may be leading parallel lives.

    I also have a grudge list. An example off mine involves an incident with Dillards in 1990. They messed up a gift I bought off a friend’s registry by sending 1 of 4 crystal glasses and then proceeding to deny it. I boycott them to this day.

    I’ve also been party to several Scrabble “death matches” in my time… 😉

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