Repeat Offender

I know what you’re thinking…why be a hater? I mean, I know what you’re thinking, and I’m asking you why are you hating on my volcano of spite? Get your own!

This personality quirk is finally paying off for me. I didn’t ever win the Good Spirit award at St. James Episcopal school in all of my elementary years. (Note: this was not the school at which I peed on the floor to make a point. This was a different school, altogether. I was not judged as having “good spirit” dry pants notwithstanding. Perhaps had they known my track record, they would have found me positively sunny.)

I was made the skunk in the ballet recital at whom all the other dancers turned up their cute animal noses and said “pee-ew!”. That was actually in the choreography. They are lucky I’m not the Unabomber. I did¬†get asked to play the Queen of Hearts in “Alice in Wonderland” without an audition. I was what you might call a sullen child. I did have a few teachers ask me if I were on drugs, come to think of it. I wasn’t unhappy, just keenly aware of what was ridiculous or annoying and had the good sense to point it out. Someone actually wrote in my yearbook that I was “a mean, little wrangler, but a cool girl” and that I should “stay smart.” Not “stay sweet.” I required adjustment to the sign-off cliche!

But what might be vaguely creepy on an 8-year-old makes for good holiday letters and blog content. So, chances are I will offend you at some point. You may be a Nascar-loving, marathon-running, silver-lining type. You may not be asked to guest blog…just sayin’. But I will at least poke fun at myself 10-12% of the time.

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