Yellow Fever

There are many things in this world that we don’t need, but we want. There is one thing that no one wants and no one needs. Please make it stop. Its time has come and gone. There is a reason you have to deliver a new Yellow Pages to my door every other week, and that is the fact that it is out of date the moment you hit “print.” If only there were a way to access information conveniently from anywhere. Oh, wait, there is.

I don’t know of anyone who would trade in the smart phone for a day of hauling around the book (which is usually in a sodden mess on my porch anyway).

A few weeks ago I got a call from a survey group asking about my recent delivery of the phone book. I live for survey calls. I view them as an invitation to launch into an immoderate rant on the topic at hand. This particular one was asking about the delivery of my book, and its usefulness. I asked the representative to be more specific, as I had received several in the past month, all of which made their way directly to the recycle bin after they had dried sufficiently to lift. I asked her to stop sending them. She didn’t have a check box for that on her form, apparently.

I have also been known to get into debates with those “voter issue” calls, which are more about providing me with an opinion than finding out about mine. Have they met me? Opinions come loaded for bear. Caller beware.

4 thoughts on “Yellow Fever

  1. I need the Yellow Pages in case civilization collapses due the zombie apocalypse or a virus released by a militia group or a nucelar attack by Iran. I mean, once the Internet is knocked down, how else will I be able to look up the address of places I need to go? Or their phone num…oh…yeah…but hey! They make great doorstops!

  2. Sorry, I was apparently possessed by George Dubya Bush when I responded, given that I fear a nucelar attack…very similar to a nucular attack…rather than a nuclear one…

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