Slam Duncan

060904Celebs22ARIt’s a well-known fact that bad things happen in threes. What goes unstated is the eerie connection between end of 2012 tragedies, Honey Boo Boo notwithstanding. I’m talking about Hurricane SANDY and SANDY Hook Elementary. Holy harbingers! I’d watch my back if I were you, SANDY Duncan. Sleep with one eye open…the good one, not the bad one–that would be useless. Just sayin’.

Faithful readers will remember that I did predict the death of Andy Rooney last year. Well, I assumed he was dead, and he died shortly thereafter. So, it’s practically the same thing.

You heard it here first. Not that I wish ill on Sandy Duncan. I mean I love “The Sound of Music” and Wheat Thins. Oh, wait. Julie Andrews was all “Doe, a deer”, and Mary Poppins. Sandy Duncan is Peter Pan. I hope the Fates don’t get confused like I do. Because if I had to choose, I’d save Mary Poppins. But maybe the two of them could team up and defeat calamity with sheer cheerfulness and treacly goodness. Like some sort of caped duo with sparkly smiles and perfect pitch. But part of me thinks Poppins has a dark streak and would turn on you just as soon as look at you. A spoonful of sugar, my foot. The hills are alive, indeed. So, you’re on your own, Sandy.

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