The stench of Gary, Indiana greets you on the way south out of Chicago.
This post is my homage to the least desirable places I have had the pleasure of visiting. Note: I have not been to Ohio, if you are questioning its absence. Audience participation, please. Think of it as the un-tourist guide.
1. Gary, Indiana (I honestly think the kid in The Music Man was high on refinery fumes.)
2. Slidell, Louisiana (Water is what I would describe as chewy.)
3. Lake Charles, Louisiana (Voted Louisiana city of the year while I was there; obviated my need to see the rest of Louisiana.)
4. Vidor, Texas (The stuff of urban legend, except it’s all true.)
5. Cairo, Illinois (Just like the rest of Illinois south of Chicago. It’s just that you’re almost free!)
6. Newark, NJ (Spent a memorable evening in the airport Holiday Inn karaoke bar, flush with airplane food vouchers. Good times.)
7. Las Vegas, NV (Just a sad-sack of a place. Before you tell me how great it is, recall there is an entire song about leaving the place.)
8. Northern Arkansas (I’m really not sure of the town where we stopped on the drive from Chicago to Dallas, but let’s just say the people at McDonald’s were not wearing shoes. And I do mean the people behind the counter.)
9. Philadelphia, PA (I couldn’t find much redeeming there, except for the Maryland Crab Chowder, and any credit there clearly has to go to Maryland.)
10. Brownsville, TX (Scarred by childhood bird-poop incident; otherwise could be perfectly lovely place. But I suspect not.)