Make Mine a Single

We interrupt this programming for a brief announcement. Before I get abused for skipping a post, I had internet failure yesterday. I had to re-cycle the router, re-authenticate, and other stuff that Eric told me to do. Now, on with the blog (and don’t think you are getting 2 today)…

I love a good mash-up: peanut butter & chocolate, stars & stripes, Peaches & Herb. Usually the more surprising the combination, the better. But sometimes the connection is so apparently nonexistent it really makes me wonder what the intent was. I can only assume it was controlled-substance induced.

For example, a store in Chicago advertising boats, pets, and a plant nursery. I guess I can see pets and plants together, they both require water and food, some pets could be useful pruning the plants, but boats is the stumper. I’m trying to imagine the value from the consumer point of view, “my pansies are languishing, and while I’m out I’ll pick up that multihull sailing yacht. It will save me a trip.”

Here in Texas there is a feed store (which I understand sells agricultural equipment and supplies) and archery range. Maybe you can take target practice on the staff driving the tractors? Or perhaps you can shoot while manning a skid steer loader. (See, I do my research). On second thought that seems oddly satisfying.

And just today I saw a truck advertising a business which “Specialized in Custom Drapery and Pool Supplies and Servicing.” Apparently they are unfamiliar with the word “specialize.” I envision sitting in on that business loan meeting at the bank.

Banker: “I see you are looking for a loan to start a business. That’s great. What kind of business?”

Draper maker/pool cleaner: “I really can’t decide. I make gorgeous drapes, but I own black algae.”

Banker: “Well, diversification is good. Doing both could expand your customer base.”

DM/PC: “Good point. I can accidentally put my skimming pole through the window tearing down the ugly existing window treatments!”

Banker: “Sounds like a good business model to me! Projected income?”

DM/PC: “Uh?”

Banker: “Just kidding. Industry joke. Approved!”

8 thoughts on “Make Mine a Single

  1. I love this one, totally remember the plant, boat, pet place. There was a weird one in little India on Devon too but what it had other than Bollywood vides escapes me at the moment…

    Ps- I’m surprised Eric let you touch his router unsupervised…

  2. There used to be a store in Arlington called “Just Bicycles and Signs”. I laughed every time I passed that place. And then there is “Merry’s Christmas and Clowns” in Grapevine. If you want to find drink coasters for your favorite local college then you should go there.

  3. In the small town I use to live in, they had a store called “Buzzy’s Food and Bait”. I never went in but always wondered how they would make sure the bait didn’t end up as food. Yikes! Thanks for the laugh Barbara!

  4. When I lived in St. George, Utah, the room I rented was in the back of a business that was a locksmith, gun dealership, and baseball card shop. Twenty years later, I still can’t come up with a joke about it.

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