So I’ve been busy aging over here. Today I’m 40, and I did the whole Facebook countdown of all the things that are so awesome about being 40–you know, the cosmic Hallmark ones…friends, family, health, etc. And I busted out a super-awesome yoga pose to prove 40 is all that. (WordPress apparently can’t handle a portrait image–it’s a known issue, but if I can balance on my forearms, you can turn your head to the right.)

And one day in, I think it is. But I have some questions for those of you on this side…

  1. Does “hip replacement” refer to the old woman who sneaked in my room and traded out her old lady hips for mine?
  2. Is it unhealthy that a new mattress has changed my life so much that I have named her Gigi and made provisions in my will for her?
  3. Is there anything better than a Chobani in the fridge? Except for a Pomegranate one. I can’t eat that unless I’m near floss. The seeds get stuck under my new crown.
  4. Do I have to stop wearing socks, because the indentation in my leg never seems to go away?
  5. Why are my feet shrinking? Is that why old ladies fall down so much?
  6. Do I have to like Jazz now and vote Republican?
  7. When do I get to say to someone, “Listen here, Little Miss…”
  8. Do I now have to start timing when I eat certain foods, knowing “I will be up all night”?
  9. Do I need to start asking my doctor if things “are right for me”?
  10. When should “Bootylicious” be replaced as my theme song?
  11. Now, can I order a Bloody Mary without weird looks?
  12. Do I automatically get issued a red hat?
  13. Do I have to wear a red hat? I can’t really pull off hats.
  14. Must I now own a sweater vest?
  15. And finally, where’s my cake?

5 thoughts on “4-OH!

  1. Happy Birthday – great pose, remember what Kristi said on the call- take many pictures of your beautiful youthful 40 year old self You Will be glad you did 🙂

  2. You came up with 10 good things and 15 snarky ones, now that’s the snoot I know and love! Didn’t know bootylicious was ever your theme song, but may I suggest LMAFO “I’m sexy and I know it” as an update?

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